That's All

Over the course of the last several weeks, sleep has been hard to come by. I've spent a lot of time trying to understand the insomnia... get to the heart of the dilemma. By all accounts, it has occurred to me that the only reason for the mind to remain awake, is to simply keep thinking. For some people, that means turning over the events of the day- for many others, it is to grind down the negative aspects of one's life- the past and present of it all; to keep chewing on a fatty piece of meat, rather than just spit it out. All of these elements are true for me- but there's a more prevalent driving factor than just that...I am often detaching from people, places and things, but have not overcome the grief that accompanies the act. I am, and always have been, a thinker- and I can't change that. But that is nothing new.

Consequently, I had, until only a few minutes ago, resigned to believing that I have been plagued by sleeplessness because of my need for answers. My inquisitive nature had escaped my grasp and wrangled in the best of me. But somehow, I have discovered a much more simplified answer to more questions than I have bothered to raise...

What I'm really waiting up for-
is snow.

In essence, people are sentimental creatures. We attach our best memories to smells, to sounds- sights and individual items; a natural safety net. The list varies for me, and on it are common items; my favorite songs, important places in my life, apple pie, Christmas trees, forests, my mother's perfume, the smell of cocoa butter, the smell of fire- all of which make me intensely happy- but perhaps the most instant serotonin release is snow. There is such an encyclopedia of incredible memories attached to snow- some from childhood, some from high school, others dealing with those I have loved, with only myself... in other words; snow symbolizes joy in my life. It represents, if nothing else, a small piece of everything I am grateful for and everyone I hold in my heart.

The radar says the system should be arriving over Williamsburg before sunrise.

Four to five inches. :)