Waterfall Dreams

God showed up in my dreams two weeks ago and sat down across from me, a large scalpel and a bucket of water in his hands. Nervously, I glanced over Him, searching his will, trying to understand. "Who is that for? Not me, right? You must be looking for someone else." I feared he was here to punish me, to bury me once and for all- the sinner that I am. He tilted his head and grinned sweetly, all the patience in the world exuding from within his eyes. He looked so wise, and I remember feeling so very much like a child.

"No, these are for you." He said, " You have so much I never meant for you to carry- that I died to take from you. But you have hidden those things from me- you have kept it all away in the darkest corners you can find. But you forgot that everywhere I go is light, and there is no corner in the world in which you walk that I did not create.
I wanted to do this differently, but, the time is NOW. I give you the choice. This scalpel is meant to take you apart- piece by piece, muscle by muscle- until all you are is bone and sweat. A skeleton in my hands. I am going to get to your heart and heal it- and this is the way you've left me. The water is to wash you, down to the very atoms that make up your cells, the very cells that make up every part of your body, and YOU- who makes up a part of my church. I offer you peace if you trust me. I offer you a life that you could never have outside of this acquiescence. I have no anesthesia- but I will give you peace that stands in the way of everything."

We locked eyes for quite some time.

"Do you want to know me better?" He asked gently.

"Of course." I said quickly, so small in comparison to his whisper.

"Do you love me?" He asked, taking a step closer. I drew away.

"Yes! Of course, I do." Even quicker.

"Do you believe that I can heal you- the same way I healed the others?" He knelt beside me now, down on one knee.

"Well-I ... I do believe- but you shouldn't heal me..." Sheepish and ashamed.

"Come to me, and believe no more lies." He opened his arms, wide and proud. "Will you let me love you now?"

I dropped my head and sighed a heavy tear, and crawled in to His lap, like a beaten child. Like exactly who I am- naked and burned up by a world of hatred. A world so ugly outside of Him. He lowered his voice- the scalpel ever there, the bucket of water sloshing to and fro as his arms wrapped around me. He rocked me like a child as I wailed a broken cry in to the air. Again, he cooed in to my ear, no louder than a pin drop,

"Will you let me love you?"

And for the first time in my life, through a bundle of chains and scars, with all of my heart- not just the pretty parts- I said yes.

And I will never be the same.