Blessings Great and Small

Family is a subject I have spent a great deal of time meditating, writing and talking about- as a way to manufacture some sort of understanding of this separate animal. Family has been present in my life- not entirely absent, but also, broken and breached. This is a word that stirs a great amount of puzzlement in me; in some cases, a great amount of disappointment. There is also an immense sense of gratitude and pride- in appreciating where I hail from, and in loving this detached, wonderful bunch of people in the best way I can. To all of you who have decided to love me, and who have always been in my corner, I will never have the right words to say what this means to me. Sometimes the best family chooses you.

What this entry is about, is the new family that God is making for me. My husband's friends, our friends, are like brothers to him- and likewise to me. It fell upon me, in thinking of this last night, that if I were still holding on to the pain, and disappointment, of those who have failed as family before, how differently I would feel about the miracles He is presenting to me now. I would weep over this child, rather than celebrate its new life. I would pull away from these new people, who have all the potential to hurt, to change and to disappoint- but that chance means nothing to me now. How vastly empty this blessing would feel- but instead, it is like the perfect surprise that I never thought possible. The thing He is doing, they are great in how small they are. Appreciate every small thing, just as much as you would every long awaited, now answered prayer- and there is nothing to despair about.