I know I have started mornings where I awake, and all I can think is, "What am I supposed to be doing? I should be through school, and I'm not- everyone thought I would have a booming career at this point in my life, and I don't...What goal do you have for my life, What am I doing?"
When I do this, I am asking God's will in the wrong way... I think this is an unnecessary stress so many of us force on ourselves. So often we ask God, "Why aren't I doing these things now, today- because I should be doing them! What did I do wrong? (As if it is always punishment, we know better.) Why haven't I landed that job? Why did the plans change?" But we so often forget that God doesn't work within SOCIETAL standards. It is not God's law which dictates that you should be graduated by such age, or that you should be married, with two perfect kids in a picket fenced house...it is only in his law that we do his will, and willingly obey. So often, we ask the wrong question. We ask why DON'T I, as opposed to, why DO I... Imagine if we all started our day, humbly, with this instead...
"God, why have you given me today?"
Every moment, there are more than a thousand and one ways in which we could perish, in which we could be wiped off the face of this planet and everyday people's journey's on Earth come to an end. How many times have you gotten off the highway, just as a terrible accident occurs, that would have been you? Has a bullet ever grazed your body? Have you gone to war, and come back alive? Have you been incredibly ill, and miraculously survived? Oh, don't worry- I have died TWICE, and still I find myself fretting over what I do not have, when I should be singing in the streets, every second, for what I do have.
We ask why we haven't received things, as opposed to why we have been GIVEN them. And those things we have been given, we are far more apt to let go of than what we feel we are missing. Yet, we have nothing without life! And it is the very thing whose presence we find it easiest to ignore. We forget to see the awesomeness in our daily lives, in the fact that we have a purpose and a calling. The more we invite God in, to take the place of all the silly wants we hold on to, the more we want to sing, and the more singing we will do.
Working on completely manifesting this change of perception is key to relationship and intimate closeness with God. There are no longer any losses in life, only gains- and no more shut doors, only opportunities. And those opportunities are moment, by moment. It is this point of view that is the spark of life, of hope, and is closest to the beat of God's heart. We are not to worry over anything- we are to listen to each and every breath, and to follow as closely as we can, despite our tiredness, or our imperfections.
I have taken this approach, like an iron clad baseball bat, to the things I previously considered "losses" in my life. Abuse, abandonment, failures, changed plans, health issues, etc... and suddenly, with this loving perspective in tow, these things are far from losses, but unbelievable achievements. I lost NOTHING in these dark hallows, in which I thought I lost everything, that God has not replenished in my heart with his incredible love, and his incredible truth. Because that abuse did not make me hateful, those changed plans have their course and I am still presently living a wonderful life, and those health issues are behind me- hence, nothing is lost. And my life, my child, my husband have been gained. These things are not "rights", or "privileges"--- they are divine miracles. And the beauty is- it's not just me. Everyone experiences them. Believe in yourself the way our Lord believes in you, constantly, without fail- as he believed in us always. Believe in the miracles.
"There is nothing that the World can take that God will not replace- and there World cannot take ANYTHING that God has given you... as long as you hold on to what has been given, and let go of anything and everything else."
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